WHY AM I ALREADY THINKING ABOUT SCHOOL?!
For me deciding what College to attend was not easy.. I have thought since last July that where I was "supposed" to be was at Brigham Young University in Provo. Well.. Obviously that is not where I am.
For those who don't know I applied to BYU in late November early December. BYU takes A LONG TIME to get back with admissions decisions. While waiting I auditioned for the MDT program, which is one of the best Music Dance Theatre Degrees out there. Call backs were rough and needless to say I did NOT make it. STRIKE ONE. Only a short while after that I got the "official admissions decision for Fall semester."
"Denied" is what the link told me. STRIKE TWO.
Man was I on a roll for getting denied to the one place I wanted to be the most.
So I wasn't completely stupid and I continued to apply for scholarships and audition for other Musical Theatre programs in the state and a couple in Wyoming. This is the thing that made me so frustrated though.. I got in! I got money! And I got acknowledged.. I even got a full tuition scholarship FOR BYU! Don't ask me how THAT happens..
Well along comes Young Ambassador Auditions. The time I had been really waiting for all year long. I was not as prepared as I should have been. I did not have the audition I should have had. I did not make Young Ambassadors. STRIKE THREE!
I'm out.
Now why am I so worried about the past? Am I? I don't think that I am as worried about it as I am trying to think about my future.
The school I decided on attending was Weber State University. This school is AMAZING! In my brain I never wanted to go to Weber because around where I live Weber is just Weber... if that makes sense.. You don't appreciate it and it doesn't look as good as other schools but IN REALITY Weber State is one of the ONLY school's in the state that I am going to be in a class with less that 40 students. One of the only schools where most Professors have Doctorates. AND one of the only schools that is NATIONALLY recognized for their theatre programs and I am on a full scholarship for theatre to attend in the fall.
I think I am doing pretty good for myself. I know that one day I will be a Young Ambassador and attend BYU like I always wanted to. But right now, I am THRILLED to be with the amazing staff and students at Weber State University.
I am growing up.. I'll be moving out in less then a month now. SCARY! I will be a full time student at a UNIVERSITY in less than TWO MONTHS! SCARY!
I still have my amazing family to support and love me. So I know I will make it.
I love my mom
I love my dad
I love my grandma
I love my sisters and brother-in-law
I love my friends
I love who I am and where I am going.
Keep Moving Forward.
-Tay
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
confusion
I try really hard to pretend like I always have it together..
Examples of this range from top of my graduating class or a fake smile to people that never really liked me.
I am trying to come to a happy medium of who I am when it comes to other people. I laugh a lot and love life don't get me wrong but sometimes I just wonder, "Why the hell am I here?"
I know in all surety that The Church (LDS) is the true church. I know that my family loves me. I know I have great friends. I know that Theatre is what I am best at. I know that I am happy. and finally I know that I have a purpose.
What is that PURPOSE though?
I watch my older sister Samantha and her husband, Brandon, and I look up to them so much. Sure they have silly arguments where one of them is clearly wrong but won't admit it. But all in all I feel that both of them have it pretty much together. My sister is going into one of the best Master's programs in Utah and Brandon is only in his 20's and already has a career that most people would envy AND he is going to school too!
What am I doing is what I asked myself today.
My mom and I were driving the other day and she really got on my case. I was freaking annoyed needless to say. I couldn't understand why she was telling me that I was not doing the right things in life and making the wrong things in my life a priority when, in everyone else's eyes, I have been a very successful teen with an extremely bright future. She basically said that I needed to have a girlfriend or someone to love me and for me to love them back. Well I blew this off for a long time until yesterday in church. I went to church for the first time in a long time due to my work schedule and in all honesty a lack of desire to attend church. During Sunday School the lesson was about LOVE! Of all things LOVE! (I think this was The Lords way of telling me my mother was right all along.) Now, while the teacher was having a hard time getting to his point THE WHOLE LESSON I think I connected the dots pretty well... (I am good at doing that sometimes.)
Love is what we all need.
Period.
My mom was trying to tell me that I let my duties at home, my job, and my love for Theatre overpower what EVERYONE needs. Even the invincible Taylor Knuth.
I don't need someone to tell me how great I am and how much they love me.. but I do need someone to need me.. and if there was one thing that I can say I regret about high school, it's that I never had that and when I came close to getting it
I ran away.
So to all the girls out there that I dated or liked... (that of which I can count on one hand.)
I am sorry. I know that a silly blog will never suffice for my stupid mistakes I made or the douche bag things I said. But I really did and still DO care deeply about you.
Hopefully one day I can find a girl who needs me. I look at my older sister and her husband and I want that so bad.
Love IS what we all need.
Till next time
- Tay
Examples of this range from top of my graduating class or a fake smile to people that never really liked me.
I am trying to come to a happy medium of who I am when it comes to other people. I laugh a lot and love life don't get me wrong but sometimes I just wonder, "Why the hell am I here?"
I know in all surety that The Church (LDS) is the true church. I know that my family loves me. I know I have great friends. I know that Theatre is what I am best at. I know that I am happy. and finally I know that I have a purpose.
What is that PURPOSE though?
I watch my older sister Samantha and her husband, Brandon, and I look up to them so much. Sure they have silly arguments where one of them is clearly wrong but won't admit it. But all in all I feel that both of them have it pretty much together. My sister is going into one of the best Master's programs in Utah and Brandon is only in his 20's and already has a career that most people would envy AND he is going to school too!
What am I doing is what I asked myself today.
My mom and I were driving the other day and she really got on my case. I was freaking annoyed needless to say. I couldn't understand why she was telling me that I was not doing the right things in life and making the wrong things in my life a priority when, in everyone else's eyes, I have been a very successful teen with an extremely bright future. She basically said that I needed to have a girlfriend or someone to love me and for me to love them back. Well I blew this off for a long time until yesterday in church. I went to church for the first time in a long time due to my work schedule and in all honesty a lack of desire to attend church. During Sunday School the lesson was about LOVE! Of all things LOVE! (I think this was The Lords way of telling me my mother was right all along.) Now, while the teacher was having a hard time getting to his point THE WHOLE LESSON I think I connected the dots pretty well... (I am good at doing that sometimes.)
Love is what we all need.
Period.
My mom was trying to tell me that I let my duties at home, my job, and my love for Theatre overpower what EVERYONE needs. Even the invincible Taylor Knuth.
I don't need someone to tell me how great I am and how much they love me.. but I do need someone to need me.. and if there was one thing that I can say I regret about high school, it's that I never had that and when I came close to getting it
I ran away.
So to all the girls out there that I dated or liked... (that of which I can count on one hand.)
I am sorry. I know that a silly blog will never suffice for my stupid mistakes I made or the douche bag things I said. But I really did and still DO care deeply about you.
Hopefully one day I can find a girl who needs me. I look at my older sister and her husband and I want that so bad.
Love IS what we all need.
Till next time
- Tay
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