Sometimes life just sucks, ya know.
Lately I have wanted to feel loved. Loved in more than just a casual friend.
It's okay to feel this way especially when I am at an age where finding a woman to love and to love me is so important.
I am driven by emotions probably, 98% of the time. I am stubborn and rude but most of the time, I am understanding and kind. The person I choose to love needs to love me 100% of the times regardless of the faults I posses.
It's okay to feel ugly some days.
It's okay to want someone to love some days.
It's okay to be down some days.
It's okay to want to sleep all day, some days.
It's okay to be blue some days.
But what is not okay is when you let those "some days" turn into "every days."
Remember the friends you have, and the light and love you bring to those friends.
Don't loose who you are because of the emotion choosing to rule your day.
Be sad sometimes. IT'S OKAY!
But never loose who you are. I constantly have to remind myself
"people DO love me."
I love you.
till next time
-tay
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Be true to who you are
Yesterday in Voice and Movement Tracy asked us all "Why do you want to be an actor?"
Sitting here in the Union Building on campus listening to Sean Bishop sing a song I have never heard before I finally realize why I want to "be an actor."
It's who I am.
It's what I breathe every day.
It's how I view the World through my eyes.
It's what I hear and smell and feel as I go through the motions of my day.
I am being true to who I am.
When I try and I "FAIL" ...
What is failing?
It is just another opportunity to learn.
Learn How to be true to who I am.
Thank you to all the amazing and talented people I get to see and hear and laugh with every day.
I have a great family, great friends and more importantly; I am true to who I am.
An Actor, A Singer, A Son, A Friend, A Brother, A Grandson, A Student, and of course, Me:)
till next time preform
-tay
Sitting here in the Union Building on campus listening to Sean Bishop sing a song I have never heard before I finally realize why I want to "be an actor."
It's who I am.
It's what I breathe every day.
It's how I view the World through my eyes.
It's what I hear and smell and feel as I go through the motions of my day.
I am being true to who I am.
When I try and I "FAIL" ...
What is failing?
It is just another opportunity to learn.
Learn How to be true to who I am.
Thank you to all the amazing and talented people I get to see and hear and laugh with every day.
I have a great family, great friends and more importantly; I am true to who I am.
An Actor, A Singer, A Son, A Friend, A Brother, A Grandson, A Student, and of course, Me:)
till next time preform
-tay
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
"Soldier up!"
I have been having a rough time with some things lately and I went seeking advice from a wise. wise. man.
We talked for a good 25 minutes and a lot of great advice was given.
Of all the advice he gave, the advice that is lingering in my head to this day is the statement he made to me when I responded "but, it's so hard."
He merely smiled and said in more words or less "You just have to soldier up, Taylor."
WOW.
WOW.
What a freaking baby I have been! The problems with my family, the problems with school, and work. YES! They suck but eventually things will clear up!
Things are GOING to get hard. Things are even going to get FREAKING HARD! And you know what, things might just get to the point where all you can do it sit in your room with the lights off and cry.
but things are GOING to get better
you just gotta "soldier up!"
I'm sorry to anybody, especially family, who might have been hurt by the words in my last post. Sometimes sadness, anger, and frustration get the best of the best of us.
I need to work on keeping those emotions in check.
I am so grateful for my amazing mother, grandma, father, and sisters.
For the first time in a long time I am rediscovering my passion for music and singing.
I have a gift, and I am going to share it till the day that I die.
till next time
-tay
We talked for a good 25 minutes and a lot of great advice was given.
Of all the advice he gave, the advice that is lingering in my head to this day is the statement he made to me when I responded "but, it's so hard."
He merely smiled and said in more words or less "You just have to soldier up, Taylor."
WOW.
WOW.
What a freaking baby I have been! The problems with my family, the problems with school, and work. YES! They suck but eventually things will clear up!
Things are GOING to get hard. Things are even going to get FREAKING HARD! And you know what, things might just get to the point where all you can do it sit in your room with the lights off and cry.
but things are GOING to get better
you just gotta "soldier up!"
I'm sorry to anybody, especially family, who might have been hurt by the words in my last post. Sometimes sadness, anger, and frustration get the best of the best of us.
I need to work on keeping those emotions in check.
I am so grateful for my amazing mother, grandma, father, and sisters.
For the first time in a long time I am rediscovering my passion for music and singing.
I have a gift, and I am going to share it till the day that I die.
till next time
-tay
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I couldn't Be Happier
Because happy is what happens.. when all your dreams come true..
I love that song. For those of you who don't know it's from the All-American Musical "Wicked."
This show was my very first "dip" in the pool of Broadway. While some people discredit "Wicked," I truly appreciate this musical and one of the messages it sends is ringing proud in my life. "Happy is what happens, when your dreams come true"
Right?
In context with the show; it (in my opinion) is total sarcasm.
In context with my life; it (in my opinion) is total sarcasm..
I keep telling myself I am happy, and I have so much to be happy for, but there is just something that is bringing me down the past couple days. Keep Moving Forward.
-As a Freshman at Weber State University, one of the best (if not THE best) Theatre programs in Utah, I got cast in Tracy Callahan's production of -Shakespeare's Classic; Romeo and Juliet. so HONORED!
-I am honored to have an AMAZING voice teacher, Jim Christian.
-I am being taught how to sew and draw by Jean L. England and Catherine Zublin, some of the most amazing designers and artists in costume I have EVER met!
-Financially, for the first time in my life, I am NOT stressed and am doing quite well.
-I have an amazing friend base and I am making friends that I am growing to love and trust (Shelby, Sean, Lauren, and Dallas just to name a few.)
Is it my lack of Family that I feel so down lately?
I
THINK
Y.E.S.
It makes me sad that I can't connect with my little sister, Kenzie, anymore.
It makes me sad that Cassie seems a stranger to me now.
It makes me sad that Samantha and I used to talk about everything and now we only talk about car deals and work.
It makes me sad that my grandma is at home alone sometimes and I want to be there.
It makes me sad that I can't be support for my Dad.
It makes me sad that I don't understand my Mom anymore and she doesn't understand me.. disconnected.
It makes me sad that, as a family, we can't just gather around a couch and pop in a movie.
but most of all;
It makes me sad that I feel U.N.E.E.D.E.D.
I have this weird quality that I have had since Junior High and it stems from performing and Theatre especially. I have to feel like someone needs me! I constantly seek approval from every person I come in contact with and I desire to be liked by all.
With my family, I feel, we are all headed on paths that are different. Sam is married, to a GREAT guy, don't get me wrong. But she is starting her OWN family. Cassie is working and going to school and has a missionary that I know she loves and wants to marry. But she is starting her OWN family. Kenzie is dancing and working and trying to remain a good student. But one day she is going to start her OWN family. I am going to school and pursuing my passion. But one day I am going to start my OWN family.
OWN
OWN
OWN
OWN
OOOOOWWWWWWNNNNN
We shared EVERYTHING growing up. From rooms to bathrooms, from couches to cars. Now we all are starting out OWN paths.
I need to be okay with that.
I need to be okay with that.
Starting something of your own is normal...
trust me I Googled it.
I just need to be okay with that.
What I am not okay with is missing my family.
That's what I need to work on.
Keep Moving Forward.
till next time
-tay
I love that song. For those of you who don't know it's from the All-American Musical "Wicked."
This show was my very first "dip" in the pool of Broadway. While some people discredit "Wicked," I truly appreciate this musical and one of the messages it sends is ringing proud in my life. "Happy is what happens, when your dreams come true"
Right?
In context with the show; it (in my opinion) is total sarcasm.
In context with my life; it (in my opinion) is total sarcasm..
I keep telling myself I am happy, and I have so much to be happy for, but there is just something that is bringing me down the past couple days. Keep Moving Forward.
-As a Freshman at Weber State University, one of the best (if not THE best) Theatre programs in Utah, I got cast in Tracy Callahan's production of -Shakespeare's Classic; Romeo and Juliet. so HONORED!
-I am honored to have an AMAZING voice teacher, Jim Christian.
-I am being taught how to sew and draw by Jean L. England and Catherine Zublin, some of the most amazing designers and artists in costume I have EVER met!
-Financially, for the first time in my life, I am NOT stressed and am doing quite well.
-I have an amazing friend base and I am making friends that I am growing to love and trust (Shelby, Sean, Lauren, and Dallas just to name a few.)
Is it my lack of Family that I feel so down lately?
I
THINK
Y.E.S.
It makes me sad that I can't connect with my little sister, Kenzie, anymore.
It makes me sad that Cassie seems a stranger to me now.
It makes me sad that Samantha and I used to talk about everything and now we only talk about car deals and work.
It makes me sad that my grandma is at home alone sometimes and I want to be there.
It makes me sad that I can't be support for my Dad.
It makes me sad that I don't understand my Mom anymore and she doesn't understand me.. disconnected.
It makes me sad that, as a family, we can't just gather around a couch and pop in a movie.
but most of all;
It makes me sad that I feel U.N.E.E.D.E.D.
I have this weird quality that I have had since Junior High and it stems from performing and Theatre especially. I have to feel like someone needs me! I constantly seek approval from every person I come in contact with and I desire to be liked by all.
With my family, I feel, we are all headed on paths that are different. Sam is married, to a GREAT guy, don't get me wrong. But she is starting her OWN family. Cassie is working and going to school and has a missionary that I know she loves and wants to marry. But she is starting her OWN family. Kenzie is dancing and working and trying to remain a good student. But one day she is going to start her OWN family. I am going to school and pursuing my passion. But one day I am going to start my OWN family.
OWN
OWN
OWN
OWN
OOOOOWWWWWWNNNNN
We shared EVERYTHING growing up. From rooms to bathrooms, from couches to cars. Now we all are starting out OWN paths.
I need to be okay with that.
I need to be okay with that.
Starting something of your own is normal...
trust me I Googled it.
I just need to be okay with that.
What I am not okay with is missing my family.
That's what I need to work on.
Keep Moving Forward.
till next time
-tay
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