LIFE

Why do we go through life day to day to day and expect it to be more exciting tomorrow? Don't we create our own path? Don't we CHOOSE to wake up every morning and go to school or work?
An amazing friend and role model of mine told me recently that "Life is about the process, not the immediate product." Before she said this I had been really upset. I was blaming my personal problems on other people and demanding an immediate gratification for the activities which I was participating in. Wouldn't that be nice? If I could just perform a show without a minute of practice, would I do that? I think not. So why at that time did I just want to give up all my hard work and be done with it all?
I have been working my butt of this year. I have spent the majority of my day making myself a better person, actor, friend, son, and brother. However hard that may be I have been persistent and consistent, which I think is the most important thing when striving to achieve a goal.
After my good friend said this to me, it really got me thinking. I could end up in 10 years exactly where I want to be, but if I lie, cheat and steal to get there is that okay? NO! At times it may seem like a goal or place is so far away from what you want and you may think "I just want it now!" Well until you learn that it's about "the process, not the immediate product," you will never be satisfied with the place you are in life.
I just celebrated my 18Th birthday and I learned a very big life lesson. I woke up and went to breakfast, like my family does for every birthday celebration, and I came home and continued on with my day like any other day. It was just like any other day... The whole day I was so upset. I was angry that my best friends couldn't be with me, my mom and grandma had to work, and my sisters were doing their own thing. WAIT! The world doesn't stop for me? That was a hard lesson I feel echoed through my heart and soul. So I got mad at all of the people trying to make me happy on my birthday and threw myself a pity party. Honesty is best right? Well I was not being honest with myself at the time. I was a mess. I miss my grandma. More than any other birthday yet. I couldn't understand why I felt so alone. IT WAS MY OWN FAULT! I was avoiding friends, family and my emotions. Once I made the conscious decision to be happy the day was 3/4 the was over and I was in absolute bliss for the rest of the night!
Yes, it is stupid of me to have wasted that much of a day. After all my feelings of loneliness had subsided I went and performed my show and was so excited to be with my family for dinner after the show. I was ready to go and so I walked in the little theatre to grab my stuff and BAM! The curtain opens and there stood all my loving friends and family shouting surprise and singing Happy Birthday. I WAS SO SURPRISED! I was so happy in that instant of surprise and shock. We spent that night laughing and spending time together and it truly was amazing.
If I could express my love and gratitude for my mom, grandma, sisters, Austin, Kelcee, and productions class; I would. They mean the world to me. I can't believe how blessed I am.
As graduation approaches, I get more and more scared for furthering my education. COllEGE IS SCARY! How do I make my decision? I have an idea of the place I feel I belong to, but what happens when the place I feel I belong to tells me I DON'T BELONG THERE? How can I handle that? I just have to remember..
"Life is about the process, NOT the immediate product"