Grateful

I had a big wake up call today.
I guess it is a good sign that I am starting to notice my faults and not have them pointed out by others.
I have been blessed with a talent that is sufficient enough to get me a full tuition waiver to attend Weber State University as a Freshman. In addition to that I receive an academic scholarship and a Sterling Scholar Scholarship. Added on top of that all I received a six THOUSAND dollar pail grant! So each semester I receive three grand to live off of.
I am pretty set aren't I?
Why is it then that I insisted on wanting every last dollar of what scholarships I earned?
Weber state won't let certain scholarships or "waivers" be combined. All three of my scholarships are actually waivers. SO they only can be combined to 100% of tuition. I thought I should get it all. Why can't I just be GRATEFUL?!
This is a hard lesson for me to learn because all my life I have been spoiled with love. I have never had to do laundry. Never had to pay rent or pay the family's bills. I have never been forced to work.
The only reason I have worked is because I like my stuff.
I eat out and go see shows WHENEVER I want.
Now when school starts I am going to be "On my own" so to speak because I am moving out.
My family (mostly mom and older sister) think that it is pointless for me to waste my money and move out.
For me the moving out is not about getting away from my family. Instead it's about me growing up.
Remember when I said I was spoiled? Ya...
Time to grow up Taylor and be GRATEFUL.
I really am excited to be an adult finally.
I am excited to have my own things.
I am excited to get to make independent decisions.
I am excited to attend the best school in the West for Musical Theatre.
I am excited to finally be able to immerse myself 100% in the art that I love so much.
I am excited to try something I have never tried on my own: being on my own.
Just because I am moving out and going to school does not mean that I will forget about my family or friends.
I am not moving on I am just moving out.
I am GRATEFUL for my Mother who has raised me better than any single mother on Earth could have done. For crying for me and with me all these years. For defending me and fostering the person I am. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
I am GRATEFUL for my Grandma who understands me so well. For all the loads of laundry and amazing cooking. For rides in her convertible and love of theatre we share. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
I am GRATEFUL for my Samantha for always being the voice of reason. For telling me, no. For telling me, yes. For being my counselor and sister but more importantly my friend.And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
I am grateful for my Cassie and her bad attitude.:) For the way she yells at me and smiles. For the way she laughs and the way she cries. For her passion for life and desire to love. For our laughs and yells and cries and sighs. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
I am GRATEFUL for my McKenzie and the best friend she is to me. For the way we get along. For the way we fight. For her looking up to me even when I am down. For her looking down on me even when I am at my greatest.:) For her laugh. For her passion for dance and theatre. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
I am GRATEFUL for my Dad and the life changing decisions he makes for me. For the knowledge that no matter what happens to ME I will never be responsible for anyone's decisions but my own. For the glimpse of a life that is far worse than my own. For doing it so I don't have to. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
I am GRATEFUL for my Best Friends and for teaching me that having three best friends is better than having 100 Okay friends. For keeping me grounded. For being there for me. For putting up with me.:)And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
And finally I am GRATEFUL for me and for never settling. For my drive. For my persistence. For my life and for my love. For my highs and for my lows. For my religion and that it lets me make mistakes and still be a good person. And most of all, for fueling the passion I have for theatre and my life and never telling me I can't do it.
Today has been very humbling. I am very GRATEFUL today. I am blessed to have such an amazing family. I hope they know that I have a new house but I don't have a new home.
Home will always be wherever my beautiful family is.
till next time
-Tay